Keys to Honing Your Social Intelligence

Posted on: Sep 30, 2021

“I will never understand people! They’re the worst.”

(Recognize that Seinfeld quote?)

86% percent of employees cite lack of collaboration and ineffective communication for workplace failures. (AKA People Problems.)

And we’ve all felt this way, right?

In my work with corporations and individual coaching clients, I see that People Problems happen in patterns— feeling misunderstood by others, butting heads with the same people, confused by others’ behavior.

But I also notice that we ourselves have a part to play in this too. Like our own emotions spiraling out of control or getting ahead of us.

So, how do we get better at partnering and collaborating with others, recognizing our own patterns, and managing frustration?

And how do we understand ourselves better to know what you need to develop?

Social and Emotional Intelligence!

Social intelligence is your ability to interact with others whereas emotional intelligence is your ability to recognize your own feelings and the feelings of others.

And they are the keys to harmony and effectiveness, no matter what your role. (Parent, partner, manager, coworker.)

Want to develop more of both? Here’s the tips I always start with:

  1. Get to know yourself, especially your Enneagram type. What are your tendencies? How do you see things differently than others?
  2. Be curious about others. Actively listen. Ask good questions.
  3. Develop empathy by cultivating observation, rather than reaction.  Step into other people’s shoes!
  4. Notice what triggers you, and how your triggers may be different from others.
  5. Slow way down. Take a step back.
  6. Be willing to laugh. Accept that we are supposed to be different from each other, and find joy in it.

As you implement these, you will grow in your ability to lead others (and yourself!) well.